Bereavement of a Child
Losing a child, whatever the circumstances, is never easy. Some rare diseases are life-shortening or life-threatening. Losing your child may be unexpected, it may happen quickly, giving you little time to prepare. It may happen slowly, giving you more time to prepare but bringing you other challenges such as experiencing anticipatory grief. You may go through many different emotions and find it very hard to come to terms with your loss.
Support
There are many organisations who can help support you at the different stages of your grieving process:
Hospices
Hospices can provide counselling and emotional support as well as information on other local support services. You should be able to find your local hospice on your Local Authority’s website. In North Wales there are two children’s hospices: Tŷ Gobaith (Hope House) in North Wales and Tŷ Hafan in South Wales.
Bereavement Support Services
What we experience during grieving can take us by surprise: anger, regret, numbness, anxiety, not sleeping, over-eating, not eating and so on. Cruse are bereavement experts experienced in supporting people through all types of loss. They offer a helpline and you can access their services via referral.
Practical Issues
There are practical issues you will need to address such as obtaining your child’s medical certificate, registering their death, organising their funeral and notifying services.
Obtaining a death certificate:
If your child dies at home you will need to contact your GP as soon as possible and ask them to come out and examine your child and then issue a medical certificate giving the cause of death. If your child dies in a hospital or hospice, the doctors there will issue this certificate for you.
Registering a death:
Deaths are usually registered within 5 days at your local Registry for Births, Deaths and Marriages. You may need to book an appointment. Remember to take the medical certificate of death issued by the doctor. When you register your child’s death the registrar will give you a green certificate to give to the funeral director, allowing the burial or cremation to take place. You will also be given a certified copy of the death certificate.
‘Tell us Once’ scheme:
Your registrar may also give you the details of the Tell Us Once scheme. This scheme allows a variety of government agencies, such as social services, the passport office and the DWP to be informed about the death at the same time:
https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once
Organising the funeral:
Funerals are an important part of the grieving process for many people. They can be costly. If you are on a low income and in receipt of certain benefits, you may be able to obtain some financial help from the Government towards the cost of the funeral. You must make a claim for a Funeral Expenses Payment (or Funeral Support Payment in Scotland) within six months of the funeral. You can obtain the application from here:
Are you looking for more direct support, or want to belong to a wider rare disease community?
Our RAREhub and RAREnavigator services can help - in a way that suits you and your family.